Getting Older
Photo by Clifford Toy, taken in Brooklyn, New York 2018
Since today is my 31st birthday, I decided to ponder and reflect a little bit on this topic of getting older. It is something that is happening to us all. No one can avoid it. Most people around me dread it. But are all going through it. So I wonder, how can we learn to enjoy the limited amount of time that we have on this planet? Most would say that I am still very young (I agree, this is true) but there’s no promise or guarantee that I will stick around for another 50 years. You just never know! So here are some of my thoughts and reflections…
4 Lessons I’ve learned from 30 years of life:
Time does NOT slow down.
If anything, it feels like things are speeding up! I have realized that most days, I’ve taken the day for granted. Today I woke up and decided to be extra nice to myself, to be happy, and to enjoy each moment because it is my birthday. But why do I only decide to have this attitude only once a year? Our days are numbered, and honestly, I can’t remember most of the details of my normal days. I can’t remember the taste of my meals or the way I feel as I walk to work. This is because I am often eating my food but my attention is somewhere else (most likely looking at my cell phone). Or I am walking to work but I am thinking about my very long To-Do list that I must tackle later in the week. Younger version of myself would say that I am just multi tasking and being very efficient with my time. But older me now sees that I was taking each moment and day for granted. Especially now that I have lost my grandparents, I wish that when I we were still together, that I had shown more interest in hearing stories about their past or really getting to know them more. I wish when my dog was still here, that I had taken her on more trips and spent more time with her outside of the house. I say this while keeping in mind that everyone has the same time each day. Rich people have 24 hours in one day. Poor people have 24 hours in one day. This is something we can not ask for more of. So really, we should spend the time wisely. I love meeting new people and making lots of friends but as I get older and my circle of acquaintances gets bigger, I have to start to choose wisely which ones I want to spend more of my time with. Don’t waste time on the people you don’t care about. Spend more time with the ones you DO care about. Be selective with your free time. I used to try to fit a MILLION things into my weekly schedule but realized that was impossible. Time keeps moving and so I am trying to enjoy each moment before it slips away. Like Marie Kondo would say, keep only the things in your life that bring you JOY!
You will learn a lot from your teachers, mentors, parents, etc.
But the most important lessons will come from tackling your own issues. You are wise and you must trust that you have the ability to work through whatever it is you need to work through! Do not solely rely on the advice of other people. Learn to listen to your own inner voice and trust yourself.
It’s okay to change course.
Work hard to strive for the life that you want. But if during that time you realize that maybe this isn’t what you want, give yourself permission to change the direction of that path despite the many dollars, hours, years you’ve already invested into it. I have redirected my path in many ways in the last 10 years and I am so grateful that I had the courage to do so. Often times, it was NOT easy but the difficult moments are where we learn some of life’s greatest lessons. Changing course can apply to any aspect of life really. It can be leaving the city that you’ve known for so long. It can be changing careers and starting over in a completely new industry. It can mean leaving a toxic relationship. It can mean changing your yoga practice from Ashtanga to Iyengar. Or even ditching a bad habit. Give yourself the space to explore and listen to your inner voice, as cheesy as that sounds. For a while I dreamt of becoming a Hollywood producer and spent 4+ years investing my time and effort into that industry. When I realized that it wasn’t the life I had imagined, I was scared because I thought that there was no way out of it. I thought I had to just keep going at it. I didn’t think changing paths was an option at all. Fast forward to some years later, I am now living in Asia, teaching yoga full time, making way less money than before, but I feel more in touch with myself than ever before. I would have never imagined this life for myself but, hey, I’m so glad I didn’t stick to my “original plan”.
This body is your only body.
Learn to love it and learn to take good care of it! If you feel good in your own body, you will feel good in other ways as well. Sure yoga is great for your body. But sometimes we forget to listen to the body and push too hard. The body will not be happy then. Be kind to yourself. Don’t be afraid to spend time and money to care for your body. I have had scoliosis for most of my life and for the most part it has never caused me pain so I didn’t care to treat it as treatment can often be very expensive. But recently I thought to myself, what’s wrong with me??? Why WOULDN’T I want to spend money and treat this body of mine? This is the only spine I will have so why NOT see if I can improve it? So yesterday I went to my first session with a specialist and I am so happy I spent the time and money to begin this treatment! Healthy spine, here I come!